{"title":"Greeting Cards","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"the-art-of-bird-greeting-card","title":"The Art Of Bird Greeting Card","description":"Expressing your sentiments or planning an event can be hard. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by getting yourself an authentic greeting card! \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope \u003cbr\u003e\n• Inside is blank","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":50039538745643,"sku":"7001149_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":50039538778411,"sku":"7001149_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":50039538811179,"sku":"7001149_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-675c977a7c9ab.jpg?v=1734121343"},{"product_id":"join-a-cult-birthday-card","title":"Join A Cult Birthday Card","description":"Expressing your sentiments or planning an event can be hard. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by getting yourself an authentic greeting card! \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope ","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":50040977785131,"sku":"7433555_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":50040977817899,"sku":"7433555_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":50040977850667,"sku":"7433555_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-675db25756f6e.jpg?v=1734193772"},{"product_id":"life-is-pain-birthday-card","title":"Life Is Pain Birthday Card","description":"Expressing your sentiments or planning an event can be hard. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by getting yourself an authentic greeting card! \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope ","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":50042194493739,"sku":"6053723_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":50042194526507,"sku":"6053723_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":50042194559275,"sku":"6053723_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-675ec46702141.jpg?v=1734263921"},{"product_id":"the-pain-is-real-greeting-card","title":"The Pain Is Real Greeting Card","description":"Expressing your sentiments or planning an event can be hard. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by getting yourself an authentic greeting card! \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope \u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank Inside","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":50094299349291,"sku":"2989461_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":50094299382059,"sku":"2989461_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":50094299414827,"sku":"2989461_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-677719dba629a.jpg?v=1735858658"},{"product_id":"las-vegas-sign-greeting-card","title":"Las Vegas Sign Greeting Card","description":"Expressing your sentiments or planning an event can be hard. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by getting yourself an authentic greeting card! \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope \u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank inside","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":50208745816363,"sku":"6636505_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":50208745849131,"sku":"6636505_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":50208745881899,"sku":"6636505_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-67959049e5cfa.jpg?v=1737855076"},{"product_id":"handicapped-illegal-parking-prank-greeting-card","title":"Handicapped Illegal Parking Prank Greeting Card","description":"Expressing your sentiments or planning an event can be hard. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by getting your special someone this prank greeting card. This is sure to raise some tempers, but it's all good fun, right? For even more fun, write in a phone number of that special someone, so they can recieve birthday greetings all day long. \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope \u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank inside","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":50346468901163,"sku":"3440365_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":50346468933931,"sku":"3440365_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":50346468966699,"sku":"3440365_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-67c441ddc06f7.jpg?v=1740915173"},{"product_id":"hire-my-grandma-greeting-card","title":"Hire My Grandma Greeting Card","description":"Expressing your sentiments or planning an event can be hard. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by getting yourself an authentic greeting card! \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope \u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank Inside","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":50449725554987,"sku":"5782880_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":50449725587755,"sku":"5782880_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":50449725620523,"sku":"5782880_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-67f710a957fb7.jpg?v=1744244913"},{"product_id":"id-rather-be-in-my-room-jacking-off-greeting-card","title":"I'd Rather Be In My Room Smoking Meth And Jacking Off Greeting Card","description":"Expressing your sentiments or planning an event can be hard. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by getting yourself an authentic greeting card! \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope \u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank inside ","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":50510766965035,"sku":"5356926_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":50510766997803,"sku":"5356926_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":50510767030571,"sku":"5356926_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-681692b34a4b9.jpg?v=1746309818"},{"product_id":"youre-the-beans-to-my-chili-greeting-card","title":"You're The Beans To My Chili Greeting card","description":"Expressing your sentiments or planning an event can be hard. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by getting yourself an authentic greeting card! Blank space to write your custom greeting. \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope ","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":50978855354667,"sku":"2932593_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":50978855387435,"sku":"2932593_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":50978855420203,"sku":"2932593_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-68714d08dfd0a.jpg?v=1752255762"},{"product_id":"by-the-beard-of-galaflarn-greeting-card","title":"By The Beard Of Galaflarn Greeting Card","description":"Expressing your sentiments or planning an event can be hard. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by getting yourself an authentic greeting card! \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope \u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank area for your custom greeting","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":51094309536043,"sku":"5163802_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":51094309568811,"sku":"5163802_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":51094309601579,"sku":"5163802_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-688927c4eb082.jpg?v=1753819108"},{"product_id":"i-hope-this-card-finds-you-in-hell-greeting-card","title":"I Hope This Card Finds You In Hell Greeting Card","description":"Expressing your sentiments or planning an event can be hard. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by getting yourself an authentic greeting card! \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank page for custom greeting\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope ","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":51566864826667,"sku":"7509079_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":51566864859435,"sku":"7509079_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":51566864892203,"sku":"7509079_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-6929ff5a6c95d.jpg?v=1764360052"},{"product_id":"another-year-older-blt-birthday-card","title":"Another Year Older BLT Birthday Card","description":"Expressing your sentiments or planning an event can be hard. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by getting yourself an authentic greeting card! \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope ","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":51571542982955,"sku":"4300117_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":51571543015723,"sku":"4300117_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":51571543048491,"sku":"4300117_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-692bad6cadb86.jpg?v=1764470130"},{"product_id":"warning-my-penis-is-gay-greeting-card","title":"Warning: My Penis Is Gay Greeting Card","description":"Well isn't this something special...\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nForget that boring card at the store when you can give them this beauty. Surprise your friends and family and watch their jaws drop. This greeting card is perfect for any surprise occasion. Blank on the inside for your custom message. This one is so good, you might have to get two.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope ","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":53303104536875,"sku":"5566460_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":53303104569643,"sku":"5566460_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":53303104602411,"sku":"5566460_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-69e3eb008c111.jpg?v=1776544553"},{"product_id":"have-you-seen-my-vape-greeting-card","title":"Have You Seen My Vape Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eMake every occasion a little more weird. This card is perfect for any situation where you want to be unique. Why give the gift of a boring store bought card that everyone has seen before, when you can gift something unbelievable. This card will make a statement and then some. Perfect if your recipient likes to vape. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eImagine this card being opened at a family function or for your friends birthday. It's the sort of card they will hang on to because it's so unique. Everyone likes getting a card for their birthday or other special occasions. So why not surprise them them with this masterpiece. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003eMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003eLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003eMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003eLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e• Comes with a complimentary envelope \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":53371591852331,"sku":"1878664_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":53371591885099,"sku":"1878664_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":53371591917867,"sku":"1878664_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-5.83x8.27-front-69f6697325958.jpg?v=1777756582"},{"product_id":"sorry-i-was-pooping-birthday-card","title":"Sorry I Was Pooping Birthday Card","description":"This birthday card arrives with absolutely no attempt to be classy—and that’s the entire point. On the front: a bold, high-resolution photograph of a perfectly unfiltered turd, paired with the deadpan message: “Sorry I was pooping.” It’s the kind of greeting that immediately resets expectations for your relationship with the sender. No glitter. No flowers. No emotional buildup. Just raw honesty, questionable timing, and the unmistakable energy of someone who almost forgot your birthday but committed to the bit instead of lying about it.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nOpen the card and it doubles down: “But I didn’t forget your birthday” followed by “Wishing you all the best on your special day.” It’s sincere… in the way a raccoon might sincerely wish you well while standing in your kitchen at 3AM. The contrast is what makes it work—absurd front cover, polite inside message, and a lingering sense that you’ve just received the most honest birthday card of your life.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCards from The Real Spencer are better because they don’t pretend birthdays are delicate emotional ceremonies. They acknowledge the truth: people are busy, bodies are unpredictable, and sometimes celebration arrives slightly compromised. Other cards offer flowers and poetry. This one offers accountability, laughter, and a deeply uncomfortable amount of realism.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope ","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":53417353019691,"sku":"6060274_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":53417353052459,"sku":"6060274_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":53417353085227,"sku":"6060274_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-6a0704a41b477.jpg?v=1778844924"},{"product_id":"i-have-so-many-questions-greeting-card","title":"I Have So Many Questions Greeting Card","description":"Most greeting cards play it safe.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nTiny flowers. Soft colors. Some vague sentence about “cherishing memories” written by a committee of emotionally exhausted office employees. They get opened, fake-laughed at, and immediately disappear into a kitchen drawer forever.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis is not one of those cards.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nOn the front, in clean deadpan lettering, it says:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n“I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS”\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nOpen it up and the card immediately makes the worst possible decision:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n“MOST OF THEM CAN BE ANSWERED WITH METH”\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nAnd beneath that? A blank area for your own custom message, apology, concern, birthday wish, or completely unnecessary overshare. It’s the perfect combination of shock, confusion, and genuine craftsmanship. The kind of card that gets passed around a room three separate times because nobody can believe it exists.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThat’s what makes cards from The Real Spencer different. They don’t try to be elegant. They try to be unforgettable. This card thrives on surprise. It weaponizes awkward silence. It turns ordinary gift-giving into a full psychological event. Whether you’re giving it to a friend, sibling, coworker, roommate, or the one person in your life who consistently makes catastrophic decisions with confidence, this card delivers an experience no grocery store greeting card rack could ever survive.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e\n• Birthdays that already feel slightly dangerous\u003cbr\u003e\n• Friends with unbelievably bad judgment\u003cbr\u003e\n• People who laugh first and process later\u003cbr\u003e\n• Creating immediate concern at family gatherings\u003cbr\u003e\n• Giving someone the single most memorable envelope they open all year\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nOther cards say “thinking of you.”\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis one says:\u003cbr\u003e\n“I saw this and immediately thought of your entire lifestyle.”\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThat’s The Real Spencer.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Material: 14.77 oz\/yd² (350 g\/m²) paperboard\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes: Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Product weight: Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nMedium: 0.6 oz (17 g)\u003cbr\u003e\nLarge: 0.85 oz (24 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Toner-based printing\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comes with a complimentary envelope ","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":53445494178091,"sku":"7505098_14457","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5″×7″","offer_id":53445494210859,"sku":"7505098_14458","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5.83″×8.27″","offer_id":53445494243627,"sku":"7505098_14460","price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/greeting-card-4x6-front-6a0780c575a84.jpg?v=1778876653"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.therealspencer.com\/collections\/greeting-cards.oembed?page=2","provider":"TheRealSpencer","version":"1.0","type":"link"}