{"product_id":"a-slow-wet-drip-t-shirt","title":"A Slow Wet Drip T-Shirt","description":"Let’s not pretend this is a “normal” shirt.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIt’s black humor. It’s side-eye energy. It’s the kind of thing you wear when you’re not in the mood to explain yourself… or anything else.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n“A SLOW WET DRIP.” Nice, right? Calm. Harmless. Hydration. Nature. Science.\u003cbr\u003e\nSure. Then the brain kicks in. Then the second read happens. Then someone quietly regrets making eye contact with you. That’s where this shirt lives.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFront and center: a clean ripple graphic—just a drop hitting the surface, spreading out like consequences you didn’t plan for. No chaos. No explosion. Just a slow… steady… oh no. It’s not loud. It’s not aggressive. It’s worse. It’s patient.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis is for:\u003cbr\u003e\n• People who enjoy jokes that take a second to land… and hit harder when they do\u003cbr\u003e\n• Standing in public spaces and letting strangers do mental gymnastics\u003cbr\u003e\n• Your favorite grandma or uncle\u003cbr\u003e\n• Wearing something that feels simple but absolutely is not\u003cbr\u003e\n• That one moment when someone reads it out loud and immediately wishes they hadn’t\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe shirt itself? Soft. Comfortable. Almost suspiciously normal. Which makes everything else about it… not. Because the real selling point isn’t the fabric.\u003cbr\u003e\nIt’s the silence right after someone reads it. That tiny pause? That’s yours.\u003cbr\u003e\nSo yeah—go ahead. Don’t let obvious have all the glory. Get something nobody else is brave enough to wear twice in front of the same people. Start a trend people pretend they don’t understand. Make it a tradition of mild discomfort.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n“A SLOW WET DRIP.” Take your time. It always does.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e\n• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e\n• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDisclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":53114379043115,"sku":"9911338_9527","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":53114379075883,"sku":"9911338_4016","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":53114379108651,"sku":"9911338_4017","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":53114379141419,"sku":"9911338_4018","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":53114379174187,"sku":"9911338_4019","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":53114379206955,"sku":"9911338_4020","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":53114379239723,"sku":"9911338_5295","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":53114379272491,"sku":"9911338_5310","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":53114379305259,"sku":"9911338_12871","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ XS","offer_id":53114379338027,"sku":"9911338_9536","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ S","offer_id":53114379370795,"sku":"9911338_4061","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ M","offer_id":53114379403563,"sku":"9911338_4062","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ L","offer_id":53114379436331,"sku":"9911338_4063","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ XL","offer_id":53114379469099,"sku":"9911338_4064","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ 2XL","offer_id":53114379501867,"sku":"9911338_4065","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Midnight Navy \/ XS","offer_id":53114379534635,"sku":"9911338_9569","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Midnight Navy \/ S","offer_id":53114379567403,"sku":"9911338_8495","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Midnight Navy \/ M","offer_id":53114379600171,"sku":"9911338_8496","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Midnight Navy \/ L","offer_id":53114379632939,"sku":"9911338_8497","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Midnight Navy \/ XL","offer_id":53114379665707,"sku":"9911338_8498","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Midnight Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":53114379698475,"sku":"9911338_8499","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Midnight Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":53114379731243,"sku":"9911338_8500","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Midnight Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":53114379764011,"sku":"9911338_8501","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/unisex-staple-t-shirt-heather-midnight-navy-front-69d2989658c5d.jpg?v=1775409325","url":"https:\/\/www.therealspencer.com\/products\/a-slow-wet-drip-t-shirt","provider":"TheRealSpencer","version":"1.0","type":"link"}