{"product_id":"dont-ask-me-how-i-wipe-poster","title":"Don't Ask Me How I Wipe Poster","description":"Every cabin, garage, hunting shack, bait shop, and suspiciously sticky basement needs one thing: A warning.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis black wall poster delivers it in bold lettering large enough to stop conversations mid-sentence:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n“DON’T ASK ME HOW I WIPE, BECAUSE I DON’T.”\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSimple. Honest. Deeply upsetting. Designed like something you’d find nailed to a crooked tree deep in the woods beside an abandoned cooler and a chair that’s seen too much, this poster transforms any room into the headquarters of a man who owns too many pocketknives and trusts nature way too much.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe black background keeps it clean and dramatic while the message does all the heavy lifting. Hang it above your workbench, near the beer fridge, beside the mounted fish nobody believes you caught, or directly where guests can see it and reconsider staying overnight.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e\n• Your basement man cave or home office\u003cbr\u003e\n• Cabins with mysterious smells\u003cbr\u003e\n• Your small bathroom that needs some new decor\u003cbr\u003e\n• Garages where engines are rebuilt incorrectly\u003cbr\u003e\n• Campsites with no visible bathroom plan\u003cbr\u003e\n• People who refer to gas station food as “fuel”\u003cbr\u003e\n• Creating an atmosphere of complete psychological discomfort\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis isn’t wall décor. It’s a survival warning disguised as home design.\u003cbr\u003e\nProceed responsibly. Or don’t.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Paper thickness: 10.3 mil\u003cbr\u003e\n• Paper weight: 189 g\/m²\u003cbr\u003e\n• Opacity: 94%\u003cbr\u003e\n• ISO brightness: 104%\u003cbr\u003e\n","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53368493113643,"sku":"8553660_2","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/enhanced-matte-paper-poster-_in_-24x36-front-69f3fd98b8d92.jpg?v=1777597862","url":"https:\/\/www.therealspencer.com\/products\/dont-ask-me-how-i-wipe-poster","provider":"TheRealSpencer","version":"1.0","type":"link"}