{"product_id":"dont-ask-me-how-i-wipe-sticker","title":"Don't Ask Me How I Wipe Sticker","description":"Authorities are advising the public to remain calm after reports of this sticker appearing on coolers, toolboxes, trucks, fishing gear, and at least one gas station bathroom mirror.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPrinted in bold lettering against a black background, the message reads:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n“DON’T ASK ME HOW I WIPE, BECAUSE I DON’T.”\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSmall sticker. Massive red flag.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis is the perfect accessory for people who think camping should involve more fire than planning, who refer to beef jerky as a food group, and who consider “finding a good stick” a legitimate survival strategy. Stick it on your water bottle, tackle box, helmet, canoe, or anything else that deserves a little wilderness-induced psychological damage.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDurable, weatherproof, and spiritually alarming, this sticker thrives in outdoor environments where normal standards no longer apply.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vaping on the trail with the boys\u003cbr\u003e\n• Coolers full of unlabeled meat\u003cbr\u003e\n• Trucks with at least one dashboard warning light on\u003cbr\u003e\n• Canoes operated by people with terrible judgment\u003cbr\u003e\n• Letting strangers know you’ve made peace with the forest… and lost contact with civilization\u003cbr\u003e\n• Your favorite grandma or uncle\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis isn’t decoration.\u003cbr\u003e\nIt’s a warning to the modern world.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n•  High opacity film that’s impossible to see through\u003cbr\u003e\n•  Fast and easy bubble-free application\u003cbr\u003e\n•  Durable vinyl\u003cbr\u003e\n•  95µ density\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDon't forget to clean the surface before applying the sticker.\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5.5″×5.5″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"TheRealSpencer","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53370525417771,"sku":"6436471_10165","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/5211\/8571\/files\/kiss-cut-stickers-white-5.5x5.5-default-69f51e6dd6066.jpg?v=1777671801","url":"https:\/\/www.therealspencer.com\/products\/dont-ask-me-how-i-wipe-sticker","provider":"TheRealSpencer","version":"1.0","type":"link"}