$5 Blowjobs T-Shirt

Subtle? Never heard of it.

This new tee drops the price and raises the eyebrows with one bold, unapologetic statement: “$5 Blowjobs.” It’s absurd. It’s outrageous. It’s clearly not a business model — it’s a punchline printed in cotton.

This shirt isn’t about realism. It’s about reaction. The double takes. The nervous laughter. The friend who says, “You cannot wear that,” while secretly respecting the commitment.

Perfect for:
• Dive bars with sticky floors
• Bachelor parties that already went too far
• Festivals where good decisions clocked out hours ago
• Cookouts where someone’s uncle reads it out loud
• Anywhere you want to test the strength of eye contact

Ridiculously comfortable. Socially reckless. Completely self-aware. You’re not offering services. You’re offering chaos. Wear it boldly. Stand firm on the price.
Let the room adjust.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping

Disclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.