TheRealSpencer
Don't Ask Me How I Wipe Hoodie
Don't Ask Me How I Wipe Hoodie
Regular price
$40.00
Regular price
Sale price
$40.00
Unit price
per
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Temperatures drop. Common sense drops lower.
This black hoodie was made for the kind of person who disappears into the woods for “just a couple hours” and returns smelling like smoke, gasoline, and consequences. Across the chest, in bold lettering, it delivers a message no one asked for but everyone immediately understands:
“DON’T ASK ME HOW I WIPE, BECAUSE I DON’T.”
Warm, durable, and emotionally hostile, this hoodie is perfect for late-night campfires, ice-cold mornings at the hunting cabin, suspicious fishing trips, and standing around splitting wood while telling stories nobody can verify. The soft black fabric hides dirt, ash, and evidence, while the hood provides critical protection from wind, rain, and concerned eye contact.
Ideal for:
• Cooking beans over an open flame with dangerous confidence
• 2am hikes through the woods to find a place to poop
• Walking out of the woods looking spiritually altered
• Vaping with the boys in the cabin
• Owning exactly one flashlight and losing it immediately
• 5am fishing with your uncles
• Saying “nature takes care of it” in a tone that alarms everyone nearby
• Working on the ranch and not caring what anyone thinks
This isn’t just outdoor gear. It’s a survival mindset with absolutely no follow-up questions allowed.
• 100% cotton face
• 65% ring-spun cotton, 35% polyester
• Front pouch pocket
• Self-fabric patch on the back
• Matching flat drawstrings
• 3-panel hood
Disclaimer: This hoodie runs small. For the perfect fit, we recommend ordering one size larger than your usual size.
This black hoodie was made for the kind of person who disappears into the woods for “just a couple hours” and returns smelling like smoke, gasoline, and consequences. Across the chest, in bold lettering, it delivers a message no one asked for but everyone immediately understands:
“DON’T ASK ME HOW I WIPE, BECAUSE I DON’T.”
Warm, durable, and emotionally hostile, this hoodie is perfect for late-night campfires, ice-cold mornings at the hunting cabin, suspicious fishing trips, and standing around splitting wood while telling stories nobody can verify. The soft black fabric hides dirt, ash, and evidence, while the hood provides critical protection from wind, rain, and concerned eye contact.
Ideal for:
• Cooking beans over an open flame with dangerous confidence
• 2am hikes through the woods to find a place to poop
• Walking out of the woods looking spiritually altered
• Vaping with the boys in the cabin
• Owning exactly one flashlight and losing it immediately
• 5am fishing with your uncles
• Saying “nature takes care of it” in a tone that alarms everyone nearby
• Working on the ranch and not caring what anyone thinks
This isn’t just outdoor gear. It’s a survival mindset with absolutely no follow-up questions allowed.
• 100% cotton face
• 65% ring-spun cotton, 35% polyester
• Front pouch pocket
• Self-fabric patch on the back
• Matching flat drawstrings
• 3-panel hood
Disclaimer: This hoodie runs small. For the perfect fit, we recommend ordering one size larger than your usual size.
