Don't Ask Me How I Wipe T-Shirt

Some people go into the woods to reconnect with nature. Others go because the gas station hot dog gave them no choice. This solid black t-shirt is for the second group.

Simple. Direct. Spiritually unclean.

Built for campfires, questionable survival skills, fishing trips, and standing near a tree line looking like you’ve seen things no person should ever witness, this shirt lets everyone know two important facts: you fear nothing, and hygiene has become negotiable. The black fabric hides dirt, bad decisions, and whatever happened by the creek ten minutes ago, while the soft fit keeps you comfortable during hikes, cookouts, or emergency woodland situations. It's super comfortable and ready for any situation life can throw at you. 

Perfect for:

• People who think “roughing it” is a personality trait

• 2am trips to the gas station just to use the bathroom

• Casual backyard parties with the fellas

• Buying a new car

• Date night with her parents

• Tinder dates and other weird behaviors 

• Your favorite grandma or uncle

It takes a certain kind of person to live the "no-wipe" lifestyle. Luckily you don't have to (unless you really want to). This shirt let's you live the life you've always dreamed of. Don't wear something boring when you have the option to wear something insane. Be one step ahead of your friends and let them know that you don't wipe.