Slim Hoodie

Same concern. More warmth.

Some thoughts should stay inside your head.
This one absolutely should not. Across a sleek black hoodie, in bold unapologetic print: “I don’t think anyone wants their penis called ‘Slim’.”

It’s not aggressive.
It’s not political.
It’s just… a branding concern.

There’s something elite about delivering that sentence calmly, warmly, and layered in fleece. You look composed. Mysterious. Almost responsible. Meanwhile your chest is hosting a very specific debate about adjectives that should’ve never made it past the focus group.

Perfect for:
• Cold nights where conversations get weird
• Vaping with the boys
• Bars where someone reads it out loud and immediately regrets it
• Bachelor parties with “creative” nicknames
• Family gatherings where Grandma squints but doesn’t ask

Standing silently while strangers process the sentence in real time

Black fabric makes it hit harder. Cleaner. More dramatic. Like a public service announcement no one requested. Soft on the inside. Unsettling on the outside.

You’re not making fun of anyone. You’re protecting the integrity of descriptive language. Layer up. Stay warm. Retire “Slim.”


• 100% cotton face
• 65% ring-spun cotton, 35% polyester
• Front pouch pocket
• Self-fabric patch on the back
• Matching flat drawstrings
• 3-panel hood

Disclaimer: This hoodie runs small. For the perfect fit, we recommend ordering one size larger than your usual size.